Loving-Kindness Meditation: What Metta Is and How to Practice It

Most meditation instructions ask you to notice what is already happening, such as the breath, sounds or sensations. Loving-kindness meditation works differently. Instead of only observing, you deliberately cultivate goodwill, usually by silently repeating simple wishes such as "May you be safe" or "May you be happy," first for yourself and then for others.

The practice comes from the Buddhist tradition, where it is called metta. Today it is also taught in secular settings and has been studied by psychologists. This guide explains where it comes from, walks through a simple session, and summarizes what the research does and doesn't show.

What Metta Means

In a booklet published by the Buddhist Publication Society and hosted on Access to Insight, the teacher Acharya Buddharakkhita describes metta as a word with many shades of meaning, including loving-kindness, friendliness, goodwill and benevolence, and notes that the Pali commentators define it as the strong wish for the welfare and happiness of others.

Metta is the first of four qualities that Buddhist texts call the brahma-viharas, often translated as the "sublime states" or "divine abodes." In his essay The Four Sublime States, Nyanaponika Thera lists them as love, compassion, sympathetic joy and equanimity, and explains that they are also called the boundless states, because in their full form they are not limited to particular people.

The best-known text on metta is a short discourse called the Karaniya Metta Sutta. In the Amaravati Sangha's translation, it includes the wish "In gladness and in safety, / May all beings be at ease," and compares the ideal attitude to a mother's protection of her only child: "So with a boundless heart / Should one cherish all living beings."

The Traditional Sequence

Classical instructions, set out in Chapter IX of the Visuddhimagga, a classic meditation manual by the teacher Buddhaghosa, build goodwill in widening circles, from the easiest person to the hardest. Both Nyanaponika and Buddharakkhita summarize the order:

1. Yourself.
2. A person you respect, such as a teacher or mentor.
3. A dear friend or family member.
4. A neutral person, such as a neighbor or someone you see but don't really know.
5. A difficult person, someone you dislike or have had conflict with.
6. All beings, without distinction.

Nyanaponika notes two traditional cautions: choose people who are living, and avoid choosing someone toward whom you may feel sexual attraction. Buddharakkhita explains that this kind of attachment can blur goodwill with worldly love. The aim at the end is what the texts call "breaking down the barriers," extending the same goodwill to everyone, including the difficult person.

Buddharakkhita gives a traditional formula, drawn from an ancient text called the Patisambhidamagga: "May they be free from hostility, free from affliction, free from distress; may they live happily." Many modern teachers use simpler phrases. Any short, sincere wishes will do.

A Simple 15-Minute Session

1. Settle. Sit comfortably, close your eyes or lower your gaze, and take a few natural breaths.
2. Choose three or four phrases, for example: "May I be safe. May I be healthy. May I be peaceful. May I live with ease."
3. Begin with yourself for two or three minutes, repeating the phrases slowly. Let the meaning matter more than the words.
4. Move through the sequence. Spend a couple of minutes each on a respected person, a friend and a neutral person, changing "I" to "you."
5. Approach the difficult person gently. Start with someone only mildly difficult, not the person who hurt you most.
6. Widen the circle to all beings everywhere. Then rest quietly for a minute before opening your eyes.

If wishing yourself well feels awkward or false, that is a common experience in practice and not a sign of failure. You can start with the respected person or a friend and return to yourself later. Warmth does not have to appear on cue. The practice is the repeated intention, not a particular feeling.

Near and Far Enemies

Buddharakkhita notes that the Visuddhimagga describes "the two enemies — the near and the remote." The remote, or far, enemy of metta is its obvious opposite: ill will, anger and hatred. The near enemy is something that resembles love but isn't, such as greed, lust or worldly attachment. In everyday terms, goodwill that comes with strings attached, or kindness that is really about getting something back, has drifted toward the near enemy. Noticing the difference is part of the practice.

What Research Suggests, and What It Doesn't

Research on loving-kindness meditation is growing, and the findings so far are encouraging but limited.

• In a 2008 laboratory study in Emotion, Hutcherson, Seppala and Gross found that just a few minutes of loving-kindness meditation, compared with a closely matched control task, increased feelings of social connection and positivity toward strangers. It was a brief, controlled lab test, not evidence of lasting change.
• In a 2008 field experiment in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Fredrickson and colleagues randomly assigned about half of 139 working adults to begin practicing loving-kindness meditation. The practice produced increases in daily positive emotions over time, which were in turn linked to gains in personal resources such as mindfulness, purpose in life and social support, and those gains predicted greater life satisfaction.
• A 2015 meta-analysis by Zeng and colleagues, covering 24 studies with 1,759 participants, found medium effects on self-reported daily positive emotions in wait-list controlled trials. The authors called for more research to identify which parts of the practice matter.
• A 2014 meta-analysis by Galante and colleagues of 22 randomized controlled trials found that kindness-based meditation moderately reduced self-reported depression and increased compassion and self-compassion compared with passive control groups. But results against active control groups were inconclusive, the quality of the reports was low to moderate, and many studies were small. The authors also noted that the practice may initially be challenging for some people.

In short, loving-kindness meditation appears to increase positive emotions and feelings of connection, at least in the short term and on self-report measures. Whether it outperforms other active approaches, and for whom, is still uncertain.

Practicing Safely

Loving-kindness practice is a way of training attention and intention, not a treatment. The National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health (NCCIH) advises against using meditation or mindfulness to replace conventional care or to postpone seeing a health care provider about a medical problem. If thinking about a particular person brings up overwhelming feelings, it is fine to stop or choose someone else. If you are working through trauma or a mental health condition, talk with a licensed professional about whether and how this practice fits. If you are in crisis in the US, call or text 988.

For more on getting started with meditation in general, see our guide Mindfulness Meditation for Beginners: Simple Practices to Try.

Key takeaways

• Metta, usually translated as loving-kindness, is the deliberate cultivation of goodwill toward yourself and others.
• The traditional sequence moves from yourself to a respected person, a friend, a neutral person, a difficult person and all beings.
• Simple, sincere phrases are enough, and warm feelings do not have to appear on demand.
• Studies suggest increases in positive emotions and social connection, but many are small, short-term or rely on self-report.
• It is not a substitute for professional care; stop or adjust if the practice stirs up more than you can handle.

Sources

• Karaniya Metta Sutta: The Buddha's Words on Loving-Kindness (Sn 1.8), translated by the Amaravati Sangha, Access to Insight
• Nyanaponika Thera, The Four Sublime States, Access to Insight
• Acharya Buddharakkhita, Metta: The Philosophy and Practice of Universal Love, Access to Insight
• Hutcherson, Seppala and Gross, Loving-Kindness Meditation Increases Social Connectedness, Emotion (2008), PubMed record
• Fredrickson and colleagues, Open Hearts Build Lives, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (2008)
• Zeng and colleagues, The Effect of Loving-Kindness Meditation on Positive Emotions: A Meta-Analytic Review, Frontiers in Psychology (2015)
• Galante and colleagues, Effect of Kindness-Based Meditation on Health and Well-Being: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis (2014), PubMed record
• National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health, Meditation and Mindfulness: What You Need To Know